.XXX' Domain Name Being Considered for Porn Sites

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Baked Goods

First, I would like to apologize for my prolonged absence. Madness has finally ensued in my currently living situation and to all those around me, I delivered a magnificent performance of “I am Sven! Hear me roar”. There was chest pounding and grunting and the whole bit, so the recovery of such an episode has resulted in numerous angry/apologetic e-mails. In short, I haven’t stopped typing for the past three days. . . this outburst is going to cost me carpal tunnel syndrome.

So now that apologies and expressions of heartfelt frustration which led up to said events, I am in my kitchen baking individual sized cheesecake cups. The grocery store was out of vanilla wafers so for the bottom I used shortbread cookies, disaster or delicious? We’ll see in fifteen minutes. I hate to get all Julie and Julia on you (by the by, not too impressed with that particular piece of cinema) but after a weekend of watching XXX parodies with some friends, I figure I can do my own XXX parody of a blog about cooking.

Here goes nothing.

About a year ago I was with my ex, we’ll call him Simon-Pier – his stripper name. . .you can see this is gonna be good – and I was preparing a lovely salmoned trout on a bed of spinach, drizzled with a balsamic and maple syrup reduction. All of this is very romantic, as I say “The way to a mans’ heart may very well be through his stomach, yet it’s also an efficient route to his pants. I always suggest that if you plan on fucking after a meal, make sure the meal isn’t too rich (avoid excessive amounts of cheese, for example) you don’t want to be feeling tired and bloated, because that just leads to lazy gastric sex, and there is nothing sexy about a bloated stomach, gas and laziness in bed. Much unlike sex, these things should be saved until after marriage.

Back to my trout filet. . .

Preparing a piece of fish is much like preparing oneself for sexual activity. The first step involved is cleanliness, if any one thing is missing in this equation, it should not be hygiene. Shit, shower and shave! It should all be taken care of, prior to sex. So clean the fish in cold water, remove the skin (unless you are like myself and enjoy that additional crispy layer.) Prepare in a small bowl two tablespoons of hazlenut oil, four tablespoons of sundried tomato pesto, along with a large pinch of rosemary and another of  chopped thyme. Set aside to begin the balsamic and maple syrup reduction. Super easy, combine equal parts maple syrup and balsamic vinegar in a small pot and stir frequently on medium high until bubbling, then allow for it to simmer on low heat. Prepare the frying pan with a dash of olive oil and crank up the heat to maximum, preheat the oven to 250. Sear the filets for about three minutes each side then spread the sundried tomato pesto mixture even on each filet and drizzle with the balsamic reduction. Place the filets (now on a baking sheet) into the oven for fifteen minutes. Serve on a bed of baby spinach and drizzle with a bit more of the sweet balsamic reduction.

Sounds fabulous, doesn’t it?

After having tasted this meal, Simon-Pier and I were feeling particularly randy. He on the other hand liked to make me wait and watch me get even hornier and more frustrated by the waiting game. I forgot to suggest making an extra amount of the reduction, for obvious reasons. As I was putting away the dishes, he asks me to come to the table where is is sitting with the remaining reduction. He very firmly instructs me to place my dick in the reduction and he takes his sweet time coating it with the, now lukeward, vinegar and syrup combination.  This of course leading to the stickiest, sweetest and hottest blowjob of life. Best part, I didn’t have to do anything, I just had to follow instructions to keep my hands behind my back and enjoy. At one point, I was sitting on a bar stool and got the lapdance of a lifetime to Edwyn Collins, A Girl Like You. I feel as though I should be writing to the gay kama sutra about this. All the while with my hands behind my back. Not once were hands involved, just balsamic and syrup reduction, tongues, ass and barstools. . .there may have been an apron involved.

If ever you have not had sex in the kitchen, insure that you are the one preparing the dish prior to, because the thank you that you will receive is well worth the trip to the market. If my former roommate ever reads this, don’t worry, I cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom. . . no pun intended.

What happenned to my stripper ex by the name of Simon-Pier you may ask? More on that next time. My cheesecakes are done!

[Via http://beingsuccexy.wordpress.com]

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GQ Magazine - Rihanna

Robyn Rihanna Fenty (nascuta in 1988 pe 20 februarie), cunoscuta dupa numele de scena Rihanna este o artista R&B din insulele Barbados.

Rihanna a dat lovitura in vara lui 2005, cu `Pon de Replay` – un cantec omniprezent precum soarele in Caraibe. Melodia a scos-o brusc din anonimat si a facut-o superstar, asa cum `Get Busy` il facea faimos pe Sean Paul.

Cantecul i-a folosit mai mult decat toate concursurile de frumusete castigate in adolescenta – frumoasa cu piele ciocolatie si ochi verzi a ramas cunoscuta doar in Indiile de Vest, pana cand `Pon de Replay` a facut-o celebra.

Cariera muzicala a inceput dintr-o pura intamplare – Evan Rogers (faimos producator) isi petrecea vacanta in insulele Barbados. Cineva i-a facut cunostinta cu Rihanna, si, dupa ce i-a `simtit` talentul si potentialul, i-a propus fetei sa imprime cateva cantece.

Primele ei melodii demo au ajus la Jay Z – boss-ul Def Jam Records, au starnit interesul si Rihanna a fost invitata sa semneze un contract.

In vara lui 2005 Def Jam a lansat `Pon de Replay` – primul single de pe discul de debut al Rihannei – `Music of the Sun`. Era un mix de ritmuri de Carraibe si urban-pop. Piesa a prins aproape instantaneu si a atentat la primul loc in topul Billboard, reusind sa ajunga pana pe locul 2 in conditiile in care albumul `Music of the Sun` nu fusese inca lansat.

Al doilea album a aparut in 2006 – `A Girl Like Me`, la doar opt luni de la discul de debut. `A Girl Like Me` a debutat pe locul 4 in Statele Unite si pe 6 in Marea Britanie iar melodia aleasa sa-l promoveze – `SOS` a urcat pe cea mai inalta pozitie in Billboard Hot 100. Si urmatorul sau cantec `Unfaithfull` a patruns fara probleme in Top 10, dar piesa cu nr trei aleasa sa promoveze `A Girl Like Me` – `We Ride` – nu s-a bucurat de un succes la fel de mare.

Rihanna si-a facut debutul pe marele ecran cu un rol pasager in `Bring It On – All Or Nothing` iar pentru a doua jumatate a lui 2007 pregateste un nou album, care va fi mai aproape de Dance decat de R&B. Se zvoneste ca pentru acest album ea lucraza cu Jermaine Dupri, Timbaland, Diddy si Scott Scorch.

[Via http://sarbumarius.wordpress.com]

Day 99 (2/12/10): Hell's Half Acre

At one in the afternoon, I shared cervezas with my boss and a few coworkers.  The talk of Valentine’s Day started, and I pretended to take interest in small talk, but the best company I had that lunch was my Dos Equis. I wanted a decent buzz on, more for the courage to get through the afternoon.

At three PM, I poured some Jameson into my coffee while I sat pounding away at my laptop. I had a thought to ask out 91, because, well I truly wanted to spend a few more hours with her. So I randomly called her up and asked what she was doing in five or so days. I think spending a few hours with someone that knew about the site, really got me out of being Travis for awhile, and was the least Travis-esque I had felt in a while, which is why I tried to go for it.  Unfortunately she mentioned a boyfriend. It didn’t entirely surprise me, but there are worse things in the world than the word no. I’ve been rejected enough over the past 98 days to just shrug it off, and go about my day.

At six in the evening I sat across a booth from Nicole drinking three glasses of water, trying to have half a nerve. I told her about the project, about fucking Taylor, about all of it. And, funny enough, she was okay with all of it. Not one hundred percent, but she didn’t storm out cursing, or even seem to get all that upset. She told me that she knew I was mixed up and going through something, and could tell I wasn’t quite ready for a relationship, but she loved watching TV with me, harassing me when I’m sick, texting me in awkward situations, and just straight up being with me. And I didn’t feel differently about her. I swear I could have told her that I loved her right then and there, but I wouldn’t have meant it. In a lot of ways, it was like my latest ex. We were great and awesome, and I loved her…but I didn’t love her the way you always hear about. She didn’t want anything but what we had, well she did, but she was really and truly okay with it. But I think I just knew that it wasn’t love, and maybe she deserved more than me, and I deserved less than her.

By nine I was in sweats and a ratty old T-shirt with holes and bleach stains. I bought a six of Sam and decided that after 99 days, the night belonged to me and my long- necked brothers, the only acceptable form of bromance. I talked to a few fans of the site drunkenly when they asked what I had planned for the next day, and for Valentines. They kept waiting for the big finish, and I kept waiting for the numbness to wear off.

[Via http://100girls100days.com]